Ok, so I missed a few days, but here I am! Seriously, I just have to share where my Life is right now. I was gifted this notebook last night, at an Essential Oils class my friend hosted – Of course, it’s just a “simple little notebook”, I mean… – DUDE! IT’S SO MUCH BIGGER… for me this is the awesomeness that I get as I continue towards my goals… by using my intention and purpose. I get these little GEMS dropped my way that encourage me that I’m heading in the right direction. It felt like getting a GOLD STAR on my chore chart! It’s also a nudge to keep writing… just keep going… pen to paper – so thanks dude! The Universe just used your awesome class to delivery me a message ❤
This is how my life operates today… and most days when I choose it. That’s the thing… I have to be willing to open myself up to it everyday. I have to believe it’s out there and then it shows up. So now I’ll do the little disclaimer we all give — yes, life still has it’s ups and downs, and even my lows can have lows… BUT really? I’m tired of the disclaimer… we all know it’s there. What am I doing with my time? Where am I heading? Am I accepting myself today? Am I Loving others without expectations? On the days I do those things I get the results that help me thrive, and the “other” days stay away – so anyways… I’m sitting at the park with my yogurt, a few books, my planner and my new notebook…. It’s an AMAZING day! My eyes and heart are wide open.
be Love, Steph
I feel awkward in my life constantly, no joke. And my awareness of this feeling has increased by a million over the last few years. I have days where I’m more accepting of myself than others in this area. I think most people can relate to that in some degree, or maybe I’m just reaching for connection lol. Either way, for me it can be down right debilitating. I’m starting to see it, which is good – it means, if need be, I can start working on a solution. It means, I can talk about feeling awkward with other people who may feel the same way! I don’t know about you, but to me that is Magic… Helping eachother get through it all… yep. Ha! So, for now, I acknowledge you, My Awkwardness – and I’m not here to change you – just embrace you – for now ❤
So I’ve been doing quite a bit of Self discovery… doing new or old things to spark changes in myself, and yet keep me moving in the direction of my heart. It’s easy to get stagnant, and it can be equally as uneasy to get back on track. Today, I remembered how important my own physical health is to my puzzle. For me – it runs the machine. My thinking is clearer, my appetite is healthy, I sleep, and I have the energy to drive it all. Now… this doesn’t mean all of my decisions are good lol, BUT I am present and able to speak – yessss! There’s something about tapping back into that feeling – my internal competitive hunger. And just like that… another layer of myself revealed… ❤️
Life on life’s terms… seriously, sometimes this smacks me upside the head when I least expect it. It’s not always a blindside situation, no… life isn’t always hidden and unexpected. It’s just easier to convince myself it’s that way, so it feels better when things just don’t work out. The reality is it’s much easier to be honest with myself, learn and move on.
Either way, accepting life on life’s terms allows me to stop taking responsibility for things not in my control (nobody asked for it, I just assumed the role) and it gives me the chance to put the focus on something I can — myself. That’s what I’m finding to be important in my life today – that I can accept where I’m at and try to be the best version of myself at that moment.
So… I was fired on Friday… BUT I’m certain it’s for a bigger better reason – and I’m not just bullshitting… I believe it. Was I Angry? Hell yes… Hurt? Tremendously. Instantly I wanted to take that ick feeling and turn it back on someone else. You know… “share” – but those motives and intentions are not on the path I’m taking and I’m grateful that I could Pause at that moment instead of reacting immediately and creating a mess… sometimes that pause ends up being the best choice for everyone involved. The best part? I didn’t have to completely lose my mind …
The timing of this situation is perfect… it’s a part of my journey – Losing my job is an opportunity to learn how to deal with Life on Life’s Terms… What is my response? Time to get honest with myself and remain teachable. Time to listen to my heart and share my experience as I go — life is going to to happen… but how I choose to react is completely up to me.
I’m so grateful for my life ❤
Keep your heart open and let the Love fall into you – no need to struggle or balk… we all deserve Love, including our own ❤
I’ve started this many times, but here I go –
I guess I just couldn’t do it anymore… I hope this doesn’t get confusing, but I have to get this off my chest -out loud-….
I remember “coming to” in the treatment center, I wish I could say that I was relieved and excited — but I’m certain my anger and fear, were most likely, more visible. My first thought? What in the world did I just do and how am I going to get out of this one? Wait, what did I just say to myself (out loud even)? So basically, I had just blindsided my family – I was about to walk away from them, my job, I didn’t want to live anymore and all I could muster in my brain was — you failed again — see…if I had reached for the drink instead of the phone…I wouldn’t be in this spot…
HOLD ON — pause
The other side I didn’t see coming? … a side that wants to reach others in need – a side that knows that there is more to this journey… more to my story and I’m not finished yet — I just needed some help… a nudge. HOPE.
I’m grateful to have that HOPE today, and I hope to spread it around like sparkling confetti – it gets better, I promise. I can’t wait to share my experience as I go along in my journey. Just remember, There is no manual to help get you past whatever it is in your life that holds you back… get off the sidelines and tell the Coach you’re ready to play… you’ve still got it – get back in the game. Nobody can do it for you.
My mouth wasn’t dry, and I didn’t have a headache. I wasn’t trying to remember what I did last night or what I may have said or done. I didn’t have to struggle to remember how I made it home because I already knew – thank god I didn’t have to pass out in my car last night … Time to get ready for work… I’m truly Grateful – Today I woke up – and each day I will work towards staying awake – and moving towards my purpose; Happiness ❤