3rd Step –

There won’t be anything to tell you when it’s time to start healing… to start loving yourself enough, to truly forgive yourself… or so I thought. For me… I see – it’s time. Time to push even deeper, so the parts of my past still drowning in my eyelids can dry up… I do know that. And I know that it’s time to push forward so judgements have no lasting sting. After all… other people’s opinions of me are not my business; I want to fully embrace this idea. I’m told the answer lies in getting it ALL out… without a single piece left unturned.

All? ALL.

… the next time I hear a new version of my old story get told through the mouths of others, it will have zero value, for the truth will already exist out-loud, in my own words. I know without a doubt, my emotional sobriety depends on this – so my life depends on this… that’s where I left off. There still isn’t a “third door” option… but the solution STILL exists – if you want what they’ve got, you’ve got to do what they do – on to the third step… heal my friend ❤️


Am I Listening?

Do you know what’s awesome? The Universe. And although I feel this, I still find myself getting tangled up by the nonsense the world, and my humanness has to offer. Most of the time the main culprit is … EXPECTATIONS — Mine, yours… for ourselves, for each other, for the “if you would just do this” everything would be “perfect.” I don’t ever forget there’s a bigger plan, I just decide to grab the reigns “a little” and damn near end up driving myself into the ground. However, the Universe always has my back… she picks me up, dusts me off and then places a little more magic in my hands so I can let go of the reigns again- why? True Love. The kind of True Love that can only come from the magic of the Universe. The question is… Am I Listening? But it doesn’t stop there. The next step is even more important and it took me a little while to understand it, and I’m STILL learning. Reality is… I have to be a part of it. I have to get up and go. I have to live. I have to Believe. I have to use my eyes to see and my hands to create. I believe the magic lies within… its like we’re a human snow globe that needs a little shaking. And when we start to shake and glisten, we create more and we attract more.

This last spring, I decided to make some changes in my life… to hike, kayak, be with nature more etc… and along the way I decided to try morel mushroom hunting. I had zero knowledge, but the season was here and I was already in the woods, why not right? And that’s where it all began. My conversations with the Universe. I’ll never forget the first morel I found, it was the biggest “welcome home” feeling I’ve had in a long time. I’m in that place again,  wanting/needing more change and I’ve set out to find it. Below is a picture of an ornament. However, to me, it was a perfectly placed answer to a question I asked the Universe. But if I wasn’t listening, I would have missed it. I found it hanging on an upside down Christmas tree display, right after I had told someone I wanted to create more magic for Christmas this year. BOOM. Call it what you want… I call it a hug from The Universe ❤ 

We are so Loved. Are we Listening?

35 Months

Today, I have 35 months of sobriety. I literally just woke up from having a using dream, and boy it was a doozy. I haven’t really experienced to many of those along my journey, and after that experience, I’m grateful that it’s done. My desire to drink has poked its head around often this summer and although that doesn’t scare me, taking a drink does — So… It’s time for more work – emotional healing., self love, self acceptance, patience… etc. It’s time to remember that 35 months, of not drinking, is an AMAZING f’ing accomplishment and all I have to focus on for today is… today. Grateful –

“It starts with YOUR thoughts”

One thing I’ve noticed about living a more authentic truthful life… not everyone is ready for the truth — and although the truth may not be negative, sometimes things can affect many people, completely out of anyone’s control. It can affect friendships, relationships, even families. And there’s always a truth not told, it’s told incorrectly, or one party is usually missing from the situation and well… if a judgement is made on that… I’m confused. That sounds like bullshit to me. I find that living a more honest life works for me and the goal is not to be hurtful, but to live with a clearer more peaceful mind. For me… No more hiding = tons of freedom and a great night’s sleep. Yes please!

It’s ok if part of their story comes out in yours, especially when they wrote themselves in… don’t panic… this too shall pass ❤️

You decide – it’s your ending.

And yet….

Yes that is what happened, no reason to run – plant your feet firmly and refuse to budge. There is only one way out and that is getting through whatever it is holding you back. 

You could… Go ahead and ignore it, let it manifest, let it take hold of your mind and build resentments or just simply let it take over your mind so you can dwell on it until you can’t breathe or function. OR…

Grab a hold of someone walking the same path and live your truth – live through your inner self – the one you’ve been protecting. We’ve told each other to suck it up and be a big girl/boy for too long – yes, there is a time for that strength too. The footwork is still your responsibility. However, nobody ever said we had to do it alone — OR…

I just thought I would get the conversation started, so many things to try, start talking… ❤