Today, I have 35 months of sobriety. I literally just woke up from having a using dream, and boy it was a doozy. I haven’t really experienced to many of those along my journey, and after that experience, I’m grateful that it’s done. My desire to drink has poked its head around often this summer and although that doesn’t scare me, taking a drink does — So… It’s time for more work – emotional healing., self love, self acceptance, patience… etc. It’s time to remember that 35 months, of not drinking, is an AMAZING f’ing accomplishment and all I have to focus on for today is… today. Grateful –
One thing I’ve noticed about living a more authentic truthful life… not everyone is ready for the truth — and although the truth may not be negative, sometimes things can affect many people, completely out of anyone’s control. It can affect friendships, relationships, even families. And there’s always a truth not told, it’s told incorrectly, or one party is usually missing from the situation and well… if a judgement is made on that… I’m confused. That sounds like bullshit to me. I find that living a more honest life works for me and the goal is not to be hurtful, but to live with a clearer more peaceful mind. For me… No more hiding = tons of freedom and a great night’s sleep. Yes please!
Yes that is what happened, no reason to run – plant your feet firmly and refuse to budge. There is only one way out and that is getting through whatever it is holding you back.
You could… Go ahead and ignore it, let it manifest, let it take hold of your mind and build resentments or just simply let it take over your mind so you can dwell on it until you can’t breathe or function. OR…
Grab a hold of someone walking the same path and live your truth – live through your inner self – the one you’ve been protecting. We’ve told each other to suck it up and be a big girl/boy for too long – yes, there is a time for that strength too. The footwork is still your responsibility. However, nobody ever said we had to do it alone — OR…
I just thought I would get the conversation started, so many things to try, start talking… ❤
I realize it may look like bullshit sometimes, like I’m full of nothing, but fluff and pink cloud dreams. And all I can say is fluff and pink cloud dreams suit me well… I mean… isn’t that what it’s all about? Finding something that can bring out the best in us, something that feels good, creates good and can be given to others?
I had a friend ask me, “How do you keep it up? All the positivity and stuff?” My answer is simple, one day at a time. For me, anything else is a distraction. I surround myself with my tribe (like minded warriors of love and hope) and I make a conscious effort, everyday. Some days are easy and some are not, simple, right? It can be! It’s much easier when I let life work as designed and I don’t take every bump in the road so personal.
Ps. It helps to be grateful for the bumps –
Ups and downs will always exist, and my success in maneuvering through them depends on my ability to own any outcome. It doesn’t mean I “agree” with the circumstances, it just means I’m willing to work with whatever comes my way, for sanity sake – lol. It doesn’t matter if it’s what “I” wanted, there is still something in that moment to deal with, which means I still have a chance. It’s an ongoing process, and I choose it everyday. Hey… the fact that I’m thinking this way is huge! yep… pat on the back. It’s a must! I’m also really big on gratitude. Today, I’m grateful that I’m present ❤
This, life on life’s terms, thing is doable, but we don’t have to do it alone. Peace.
Ok, so I missed a few days, but here I am! Seriously, I just have to share where my Life is right now. I was gifted this notebook last night, at an Essential Oils class my friend hosted – Of course, it’s just a “simple little notebook”, I mean… – DUDE! IT’S SO MUCH BIGGER… for me this is the awesomeness that I get as I continue towards my goals… by using my intention and purpose. I get these little GEMS dropped my way that encourage me that I’m heading in the right direction. It felt like getting a GOLD STAR on my chore chart! It’s also a nudge to keep writing… just keep going… pen to paper – so thanks dude! The Universe just used your awesome class to delivery me a message ❤
This is how my life operates today… and most days when I choose it. That’s the thing… I have to be willing to open myself up to it everyday. I have to believe it’s out there and then it shows up. So now I’ll do the little disclaimer we all give — yes, life still has it’s ups and downs, and even my lows can have lows… BUT really? I’m tired of the disclaimer… we all know it’s there. What am I doing with my time? Where am I heading? Am I accepting myself today? Am I Loving others without expectations? On the days I do those things I get the results that help me thrive, and the “other” days stay away – so anyways… I’m sitting at the park with my yogurt, a few books, my planner and my new notebook…. It’s an AMAZING day! My eyes and heart are wide open.
be Love, Steph
I want to get better with writing and living so, I thought… I’ll do both – everyday, on here, and see what happens… if anything, it may entertain me and help me practice at the same time… perfect! Just to be clear here… I’m talking comfort zone crushed – willingly… honest and real, PLUS grammar issues and a lack of experience… excellent, right?! LOL – hey… I’ve got to start somewhere – I get it!
– Steph – xo
Revised… already ** Ok, so it’s June 4th now, but I’m doing it… yep, jump… I’m ready to write… everyday… to improve – yep.